I never understood how powerful speaking up and advocating for myself could be. I’ve asked for things here and there but most of my life I just made do with what I had.
I think I confused asking for things with having a “sense of entitlement”.
We are allowed to ask for things. Sometimes we’ll get them and sometimes we won’t. A sense of entitlement is wrongly believing we are owed things – for whatever reason. Big distinction there.
Right now my place is a mess of boxes and packing supplies because I am MOVING!! I am currently in a space that is too tight, taking into consideration all of my dialysis supplies and my two dialysis machines. It’s tight . . . but I’ve made do.
A few months ago I had a persistent idea. The idea lead me to write a letter to one of the executive members of my rental company, Homestead Land Holdings. (It’s a huge company with apartments and townhouses across the province of Ontario, where I live.) In my letter I explained my current circumstances and asked for help to move to a living situation better suited to my needs . . . And they listened. I received a few wonderful correspondences from board members with a suggestion that they thought would help me. Although their suggestion wasn’t exactly what I’d asked for I was so touched that they actually considered my case at all. In the end I accepted their gracious suggestion.
January 1st I will be moving into a bigger place that works for my Home Hemodialysis situation . . . and my budget. What a blessing . . .
Asking for things. (A simple but sometimes scary proposition.)
I wrote that letter to Homestead and even as I put it in the mail I thought . . . “wow, this is crazy”. I was scared. But then I remembered that the worst outcome would be them saying “no”. Not a terrible consequence to deal with. There was really no harm done.
I volunteer at my local hospital as a Patient Experience Advisor and 99% of my time is spent advocating on my behalf and on the behalf of other patients. Asking . . . The outcomes are amazing. We don’t always get exactly what we ask for but we get something. Sometimes just being heard – having a voice in decisions that affect us is enough.
Ask and you will receive . . . something. An important lesson I learned this year. Especially asking for help when we need it. The world will surprise you with it’s love and generosity.
Society places value on being able to accomplish things on our own but that isn’t really the way things happen. Yes, we must work hard and put our noses to the grindstone but real results happen when we work hard but also ask for help when we need it and when we accept help when it’s offered. That’s where real progress occurs.
As I pack, organized and plan for this move, I am so thankful that I reached out and asked for that help. My life will be better for it.
I have decided that I will ask for help until I am in a position to be that help to others.