Why I didn’t get Proof . . .

A few months ago I had written a post saying I had been robbed of a near-death experience.  It’s a notion that had stuck in my mind for years – since I had the cardiac arrest. I was jealous of people being able to recall love-entrenched ethereal places and soul-reassuring communications with angels and loved ones passed.

A few days ago I watch a documentary on a doctor’s near-death experience. It was very interesting. Vivid and conscious-shattering. Especially profound because he was a hard scientists who didn’t believe in near-death experiences until it happened in his own life. The doctors name is Eben Alexander and his book is called, “Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife.” Not sure I’m “ready” to read the book yet but I’m still very intrigued and interested.


After watching the show and hearing his testimony something profound occurred to me about my own experience . . .

If my loved ones’, especially my Mom, had come to communicate with me at that time, I would have begged her not to make me go back to the physical plane. 

I think that if I did have a near-death experience I was spared having to live the rest of my life with that beautiful memory – knowing I could not go back to that place without first completing my mission on earth.

After my episode (cardiac arrest, coma, etc.) I came back to life on the dialysis machine. I came back to a frail body – I used a walker when I first left Kingston General Hospital at age 39. I came back to living in a broken shell.

I think it is merciful that I don’t have memories of that beautiful place and of being with my Mom. 

Having concrete proof of how beautiful and peaceful the other side is would diminish my fight to find the beauty and peace in this realm.

Proof would diminish my fight to want to be here . . . and to complete the work I am meant to do here.

I wasn’t meant to have proof yet.

My proof will come later. 🙂


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