Tomorrow I have an appointment with my nephrologist at St. Michael’s Hospital in the Pre-Transplant clinic.
Needless to say . . . I AM NERVOUS.
Not nervous enough to feel sick or have a headache or anything.
It’s more like the feeling you get when you want to hope for something special (and amazing) but you’re not sure if you’re allowed to.
So, I am going to just chose to be positive and hopeful.
Even at the risk of being very disappointed.
I am going to let myself believe that I am going to get a “yes” tomorrow and be put back on the kidney transplant list.
I have already made peace with possibility of getting a “no”. Or a “not now but maybe later”.
And I will deal with whatever the nephrologist decides tomorrow in the moment when I get his verdict.
In the meantime, indulge with me in a happy moment.
That feeling of Christmas eve.
That feeling you have the day before a vacation.
Premature or not, I chose to relax into the hope that everything will go really well tomorrow.
Think of me at 3pm (EST).