Three PURPOSEFUL Acts of Kindness . . .

As a writer I hate to use cliches but I know these expressions become cliches for a reason. (My title plays on the “random acts of kindness” cliche).

Right now I am reminded of “it’s darkest before the dawn”.

In my life dawn will be getting my new kidney.

I am pushing forward. I am persevering. I am committed to getting through this darkness but it’s not easy. (I know . . . I have said this before).

Part of the reason I have the strength to move forward is from the amazing support around me.

The support of friends. Family. My medical team.

I can’t overstate it.

A few gestures stand out so profoundly. The actions of people who really get what I go through and I have to share a few examples with you . . . because these gestures are so beautiful.

And because, I am so thankful.

Act #1:
A few friends and family members will sit with my while I’m on the machine.

I do think it’s a little alarming to see a person with their blood flowing through tubing in a machine but they act like it’s “cool”.

We watch TV. We talk.

They get me through these stints of time where I am on a short tether for four to six hour at a time.

These visits are welcome distractions. The time goes faster. It’s easier to get through these sessions.

Act #2:

Doing hemodialysis it is possible for me to travel but it’s quite complicated.

There is a lot of advance notice necessary. There is a lot of coordination between dialysis centers necessary. And there is cost – if it’s outside of my province. Certainly if it’s outside of Canada.

For those reasons I decided to wait to travel – once I started hemodialysis. (I didn’t expect to wait this long though – I thought I was getting my kidney sooner.) 

One of my best friends, who lives in Atlanta Georgia, calls me and we Skype while she drives around and does her errands.

Instead of having the camera focus on her while we talk, she sets the phone up on her dashboard so I can see the road and the city.



A few things make this fun.

First, she drives a convertible Range Rover. It’s a fun car. I enjoy being part of that!

Second the perspective from the dashboard is quite high up. I get a clear, panoramic view of Atlanta.

We play a game where I try to figure out where she is. I can even anticipate landmarks sometimes.

It a simple little thing, but in its way, these “Skype drives” have taken on the place of mini-escapes. A reminder of a city I love and another chapter in my life.

Act #3:
My friends and family visits.

I am blessed to have some friends and family who make it a priority to come spend time with me in Kingston – knowing that it’s difficult for me to travel.

It is always wonderful.

Good food. I usually cook a pelou – a Caribbean one pot rice dish. We also go out to eat a few times.

Long chats – to catch up. (In person is always better than telephone.) 

Lots of laughs.

Music is often playing. Burning CDs for each other.

Movies or funny YouTube videos.

This time together makes it easier for me to be here.

(I am a person who used to go on a trip on the drop of a hat. I love travel and I love the destination. Especially to see family).


When I get my transplant and look back at this time in my life, these gestures will stand out. (They stand out now.)

It is with profound gratitude that I say, “thanks”.

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