At the Risk of Sounding UNGRATEFUL . . .

This is probably going to come across in an ungrateful way but . . . I’m not 100% sure that I will have a better life with my upcoming kidney transplant.

I know.

I am confusing people.

Right now, because of my aggressive dialysis schedule and my fitness regiment, I am feeling really well. Yes, my dialysis schedule (20 hours a week) is a huge compromise in my quality of life, TIME-WISE, but I do feel really well.

My problem isn’t the new kidney itself.

My problem is the side-effects of the anti-rejection medications I will be taking in order for my body to accept this foreign organ.

The last time I had a kidney transplant my biggest problem with the anti-rejection medications was constant upset stomach. (I had a kidney before for 13 years).

A “losing weight, dehydrated” level of upset stomach. Painful cramps. Not good.

In the back of my mind I am afraid that it will be a trade off of quality of life factors.

I will have 30 hours a week of my life back – in not having to do dialysis but . . . will a majority of my time be compromised with feeling ill with side-effects?


I know that sounds really ungrateful of me but it’s a real consideration.

Will I feel well enough to continue with my fitness regime after my transplant? Well enough to accomplish some big fitness goals, as I hope to, post-transplant?

Will I have to rely on painkillers? Will I have to cater my work schedule around my symptoms as I did with my last kidney? Will I be able to maintain my current weight?

Beeeeeeeeelive me, I am willing to take the risk to find out.

I am certainly taking a kidney as soon as I get my call with the offer of one. (Duh!!)

A few things to consider, none-the-less:

1. I need to contact my transplant doctor and speak to him about the medications he expects to put me on. I need to be honest with him about the serious physical symptoms I had last time and work with him to find a solution that will optimize the benefit of this transplant – keeping in mind that anti-rejection meds are a necessary part of life with a transplant – but keep me feeling as well as possible.

2. I need to contribute to fundraising for research that improves the organ transplant process. There is research happening with 3D printed organs. There are experimental protocols where transplant recipients are desensitized to the organ they will receive to lower (or eliminate) the need for anti-rejection medications. There is on-going research on improving medications. There are surgically implanted, man-made kidneys being designed. Science is coming up with all kinds of ideas and solutions.

Again I see incentive to advocate and communicate for myself in this chronic illness journey.

Again I see incentive to build my platform and help the cause of people living with kidney disease and people with transplants.

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4 Responses to At the Risk of Sounding UNGRATEFUL . . .

  1. Organ doner mother says:

    As a mother of a son who died and was an organ doner and gave UNSELFISHLY. ..and saved 3 lives with 4 organs..yeah your comments are offensive and sure my son and most organ doners would give anything (being ALIVE) TO have a chance to live.its just i feel an organ doners gift of live should be aprechaited and the gift of life should be apprechaited.😢

    • kns544 says:

      I thank you for your son’s sacrifice. I know that all organ recipients are appreciative – myself included. This is a very touchy subject – that you are very passionate about. And rightly so. I appreciate your comment. A blog is meant to be fertile ground for conversation and exchange. I appreciate hearing your perspective. It means a lot. Thank you.

      • Organ doner mother says:

        I was so ashamed of my behavior no excusses and im truly sorry for my comments and my rudeness….im missing my son so,much in so much pain and i took it out on you..unlike me.again im sorry for my comment and rudeness.i was on google and what i was on led me to your blog..

      • kns544 says:

        No need to apologize. I can’t imagine what you’re going through as a mother. Loss is so difficult. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your son is alive in all the lives he blessed as a donor. That is so beautiful.

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